


Academy Point Blank

by thewightknight



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star wars/grosse pointe blank
Genre: First Order, Implied Past Bullying, M/M, Reunions, angry space boyfriends, first order academy, first order husbands, hux uses f-u as an endearment, ren is a sass monster, reunion au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-29 00:48:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6352234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux had no intention of attending his 15-year Academy reunion, but Kylo has other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [This gifset on tumblr ](http://thewightknight.tumblr.com/post/141564348083/academy-reunion-anyone)is entirely to blame. Also an excuse to imagine Hux in [this](https://37.media.tumblr.com/9d94d3c65ceb74e8eafdb3b68543b223/tumblr_o1fl02FAsL1rsst3uo6_r1_1280.jpg) and Kylo in [this](https://37.media.tumblr.com/1dbd33075f4e2198f24dbddbab8fc835/tumblr_o1fl02FAsL1rsst3uo10_r1_1280.jpg).
> 
> The warning is for Chapter 2. I don't know that I'll live up to it, but I want to be safe. I've tweaked the tags a bit too since posting the first chapter.

Hux’s datapad chimed, a new message alert. When he saw the title header he huffed in annoyance.

A warm body pressed against his back and a voice murmured in his ear. “What is it?” 

“Nothing.” Another snort escaped him and he deleted the message but not before Ren saw it.

“Fifteen-year reunion? What’s that?”

“I’ll thank you not to read my mail over my shoulder, Kylo.”

“Then stop bringing your datapad to bed. Don’t you ever not think about work?” A hand snaked its way across his thigh under the covers.

“Mmmm … I have been known to get distracted on occasion.” Another message alert sounded. “But if I take care of these tonight that’s less I’ll have to do tomorrow.” Without warning, the datapad lifted from his hands and floated across the room, coming to rest on the floor beside the opposite wall.

“Dammit, Kylo.”

“It can wait, Hux.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

People were late. Hux drummed his fingers against the conference table in annoyance. Ren turned, shook his head, and he could feel Ren’s smirk through his damned helmet.

His datapad chimed and he checked his messages, expecting an apology for his officers’ tardiness. It wasn’t.

“Another reunion message?”

“Stay out of my head, Ren.”

“I am. You’re projecting again. I keep telling you I can help you with that, but you’ll never make the time.” He could hear the fond exasperation in Ren’s voice and when had he become so adept at picking out such nuances through his helmet’s modulator?

There was blessed silence for a few moments and then Ren had to go and spoil it. “Why don’t you want to go?”

“Why would I want to? Miserable place. Miserable people. Waste of time.”

Ren shrugged and Hux hoped that would be the end of it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

Didn’t anyone show up on time for meetings anymore?

“I heard about the situation on Arkanis.”

“Of course you did Ren. The answer is no.”

“But I haven’t asked anything yet.”

“Weren’t you about to comment on how we could wrap the situation up in no time and I’d be able to go to my reunion?”

Ren’s silence was telling.

“Why in all the hells are you so obsessed about this damned reunion, anyways?”

“I just find it amusing, that you came from somewhere.”

“Fuck you, Ren.”

“Fifteen years. You graduated when you were nineteen?”

“Yes, I graduated early, Ren. Are we through talking about this now?”

“You never talk about your life before all this, and it’s hard to imagine you anywhere else but here, commanding the _Finalizer_.”

People started rushing in, stumbling over each other with their apologies for being late and that put an end to the conversation.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”

It was almost worth it – almost – to see Ren dressed as he was this evening. He was clothed in layers of sensation, first a crisscrossed black satin undertunic, then one of ivory silk. On top of that there was a long black velvet coat that set off his shoulders and a wide leather belt that accentuated his waist. His legs were encased in velvet too and thank goodness the coat covered his thighs because the way the fabric rippled and clung to his muscles was just short of obscene. His face was a study of contrasts. He’d somehow managed to cover his moles but had left the scar intact. His skin was bone-white and he’d accented his features with touches of gold above his eyebrows, on his cheekbones and on his lower lip. He’d also done something extravagant to his hair, all braids and loops threaded through with black crystal beads. It was begging to have hands buried in it, Hux couldn’t help but thinking.

Ren met his eyes and winked. “You look good too, Hux.”

“Stay out of my head, Ren.” The response was automatic, but focusing on it distracted him from his disbelief in Ren’s words.

“I don’t need to read your thoughts. You’re practically drooling. And yes, you do look good. Those clothes suit you.”

Hux tugged at his jacket, still self-conscious. He’d bought this outfit after his first commission. He’d been amazed and rather proud to find it still fit. There’d been no point to the purchase as he’d never had an occasion to wear it before this but he’d had credits to burn and wanted to indulge himself for once. Blue velvet instead of black, it was similar enough to Ren’s in some ways that he’d almost gone back and changed into his uniform but Ren had talked him out of it. 

He was being silly, he knew. This neckline had been the norm for men’s formalwear for almost two decades now. His coat was shorter, too, ending just past his hips. His outfit had also come with a belt but he’d refused to wear it after seeing Ren. It would have looked ridiculous if they’d matched too much. There was a matching overcoat, which added breadth to his shoulders and gave him something to do with his hands, constant adjustments that would keep him from doing damage to his palms this evening. Or so he hoped. 

Ren’s eyes almost had him convinced that the outfit worked. And he seemed to enjoy the velvet, if the caress of his hand on Hux’s thigh was any indication. That dot of gold on his lower lip kept drawing Hux’s gaze. He didn’t realize he was leaning in for a kiss until Kylo stopped him with a hand to the center of his chest.

“You’ll ruin my makeup.”

“Do you realize what you just said, Ren?”

The transport passed through the Academy’s gates and approached the main hall.

“I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.” 

“You’re repeating yourself, Hux.”

“Fuck you, Ren.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

Check-in was the nightmare he thought it’d be.

“Brigham Aloysius Hux?”

“Fuck you, Ren.”

“Your initials are B.A.H. Say ‘bah.’ Please?”

“I am going to murder you in your sleep, Ren.”

“If you keep saying such things I might stop terrorizing your former classmates, Hux.”

The expressions on the faces of the people working check-in had been gratifying when they realized who his plus one was. 

Ren’s name badge was crooked and he couldn’t get it to lie straight. He tried repinning it again but it was still canting a fraction of a centimeter to the left.

“You’re stalling, Hux.”

“So what if I am?”

“The sooner you go through those doors the sooner we can find the bar.”

“Just so you know, I’m blaming you now for everything that’s going to happen for the rest of the evening.”

Hux fiddled with his coat one more time and gave in to the inevitable.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~

They hadn’t scrimped on the alcohol. Well, the whiskey was tolerable, at least. And no one had yet approached him and tried to make small talk. He was sure he had Ren to thank for that. (And he’d hear about that later, he was sure.) But he could tell people were whispering behind his back. There were too many conversations that petered out as he stalked past for it to be a coincidence.

“Relax, Hux.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Ren. People aren’t talking about you.”

“Yes they are. There’s a pool going, in fact, about whether or not I’m going to murder someone by the end of the night.”

“Really? Do you think I could get in on it? What are the odds?”

“They’re not saying bad things about you, by the way. So far the most popular topic of conversation seems to be how fantastic your ass looks in those pants.”

So maybe the outfit was a little tighter on him now than when he’d purchased it. 

“Oh, look, someone’s finally going to come over and talk to you.”

He knew who it would be, didn’t bother turning. The first words that boomed out behind him confirmed his suspicion.

“Hey, Huxie. Still riding on daddy’s coattails?”

“Knessos. Still haven’t found any new material. Not surprising, really. Higher cognition was never your forte.”

“Hahahaha! Good one, Huxie!” The bray of fake laughter echoed through the suddenly silent room. Hux forced a grin as Knessos wrapped his arm around Hux in a show of fake camaraderie. Knessos raised his glass to take a drink before speaking again and Hux watched in amusement as the liquid sloshed over the rim and down the front of his clothes. That was Ren's work, he could tell. He’d have to come up with a special way to thank him for it. It meant, for one thing, that the arm was removed from his shoulders as Knessos dabbed at the spilled liquid. The embarrassment factor was an added bonus.

“Who is this charming fellow, Hux?” Ren’s words were polite but his tone was glacial.

“Kylo Ren, this is Zeak Knessos. We were squadmates all through the Academy, and he was head of the Commandant’s Cadets for our last few years there.”

“Now, Huxie, you know we don’t speak about that!” Knessos made a shushing gesture and winked. “Still sore about not being invited to join, eh?”

“Yes, my disappointment is palpable.” Hux projected as much boredom as he could into his response. He went to take another drink but found his glass empty.

“Another, Hux?” With a wave of Ren’s hand, a glass levitated from a server’s tray and floated over to them. Hux took it out of the air and Ren disposed of his empty glass with another gesture.

It was gratifying to watch Knessos’ eyes bulge, Hux had to admit. The boor upended his glass, finishing the rest of his drink (which Ren didn’t help him with this time) and then used his empty glass as an excuse to escape.

“I’ll admit, that was amusing, Ren.” Ren didn’t respond. He was staring at Knessos’ retreating back. Hux only caught it because he knew it was coming, the slight twitch of his fingers. He turned away just as Knessos tripped over nothing, but from the ensuing commotion he knew his old nemesis’ landing had been calamitous. Ren took his arm and they threaded their way through the crowd in the opposite direction, so by the time Knessos regained his feet they’d no longer be in sight.

“He’s not as stupid as he pretends to be, is he?” Ren asked.

“He wouldn’t still be alive if he was. He wants you to underestimate him. That’s how he got to the top in the Cadets,” Hux replied. “That’s not a challenge, by the way.”

“Oh, come now, Hux. You have to let me have some fun this evening.”

“Spilling alcohol and tripping people isn’t fun?”

“That was just a warm-up.”

“The opening act?”

“Not even an ad in the program, Hux.”

Hux tensed again when his voice was called, and relaxed immediately afterwards, almost smiling when he recognized the voice. 

“Melaana.” He saw Ren blink in surprise at the warmth in his voice as he bent down to allow the diminutive women to peck at his cheek.

“I can’t believe you’re here. You hate this kind of thing.” 

“I was coerced. You’re looking well. Decidedly unmilitary, though.” It was true. Her nails were long and lacquered and her hair was ornately styled, a contrast to the functional cuts of the rest of the attendees. 

“That’s because I got out years ago. Got tired of the bullshit.” She reached into her jacket, pulled a stylus from an inside pocket and handed it to Hux. 

It was engraved, he noticed. “Fondor Shipyards?” he asked in disbelief.

“Don’t judge. And you really should come talk to us. We can undercut Kuat-Entralia on prices and we’ve made some advances in shielding that haven’t hit the market yet. Your _Finalizer_ is already outdated.” She paused, and then laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “Sorry. It’s ingrained, can’t turn it off. I’ll stop talking shop if you introduce me to your giant friend.” 

“I shouldn’t. I actually like you.” Ren shot him a look that promised payment later.

Melaana took matters into her own hands. “Melaana Hontari.”

“Kylo Ren. A pleasure.” Ren took her hand and bowed over it, brushing his lips across her knuckles. “So what made you decide not to pursue a military career after the Academy?”

Hux blinked. Was Ren actually making small talk? How much had he had to drink?

Melaana snorted in disgust. “I got tired of the bullshit. I’m only a centimeter taller than the minimum height requirement. Kept having to bust balls over it.” She gave Kylo a deliberate once-over. “You wouldn’t have that problem. Damn, Hux, you managed to find one taller than you. Good job.” Years of practice kept Hux from shuffling his feet or flushing in embarrassment. Melaana plowed on ahead. “So, Kylo, do you have a sister?”

Kylo froze. Questions about his family always did that. Hux saved him from having to respond. “No, dear, but I do have a Captain you should meet.”

“Oh, really, Hux? Do tell.” 

“Oh, yes. She’s tall, blonde, and likes cigars. Just your type.”

“Oooh, you remembered!” Her eyes lit up. “Well, I need to get back to mingling. Do be a dear and stay in touch this time, won’t you?” Hux let himself be pulled down for another kiss and then Melaana disappeared back into the crowd.

“Careful, Hux. You’re almost smiling.”

“Fuck you, Ren.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the reunion doesn't quite go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (looking at subscription count) Trying not to be nervous here. I had no idea this would be as popular as it's proving to be. I hope this chapter lives up to the first.

An hour later, the evening had ~~evolved~~ devolved into a game of “Spot the Tarkin.”

“There’s another one.”

“Ah, yes. Breen. He and his younger sister were both vying for a position on the _Finalizer_. I don’t believe they’ve spoken since Brella got the appointment.”

“How about that one?”

“Devlin. Mediocre scores all across the board except marksmanship.”

“Over there?”

This time Hux didn’t answer immediately. The woman Ren had pointed out did have the distinctive foxlike features that characterized the Tarkin clan but he didn’t recognize her.

“Hux?”

“I have no idea who she is. Perhaps someone’s date? She never attended the Academy, though.”

Ren looked skeptical. “Maybe she was a later year?”

“No, I’d still know who she was. I was quizzed regularly on my fellow cadets.”

He was spared from continuing this conversation, thank goodness, as it was beginning to skirt memories he’d rather not dredge up.

“Oh, look, here comes your friend again.” From Ren’s tone Hux knew he wasn’t talking about Melaana. 

With Ren’s warning he had time to brace himself, so when Knessos stumbled into him he only staggered slightly. 

“Aren’t we a bit ahead of schedule for the ‘pretend to be drunk and try to start a fight’ part of the evening?” He made a show of checking his chrono. “Yes, it’d be rather embarrassing for someone to have reached such a point of inebriation so soon.”

“Still as paranoid as ever, I see, Huxie. I just tripped, that’s all. I seem to be doing a lot of that this evening.” 

Hux had never seen Ren look more innocent. It had to be the makeup. He could tell Knessos was waiting for his next sally so he opted not to oblige him. When it became apparent he wasn’t going to play, Knessos decided to move on to Ren.

“So how did Hux manage to snag someone like you?” He gave Ren an obvious up and down leer and toasted him.

“Spectacular sex,” Ren deadpanned.

Knessos froze, his glass halfway to his mouth. Hux hid his expression behind his own glass while thinking murderous thoughts in Ren’s direction. He was spared from deciding if and how he should respond by the arrival of a boisterous group, other former CC members. Knessos favored them with a sneer and a bow and sauntered off. 

“Ren …” he began.

“I know. You’re going to murder me in my sleep.”

“Damnit, Ren, what possessed you to say something like that?”

“Oh, look. More Tarkins. They’re twins, even.” 

Hux gave up and turned to look. “No, they’re distant relatives. Quarren is from a cadet branch. Fourth cousin thrice removed or somesuch nonsense. You’ll love this, though. Elen is Wilhuff Tarkin’s granddaughter.” 

Ren’s cheek twitched and Hux started counting. He got to two.

“Do you think …”

He finished Ren’s sentence for him “… her grandfather ever told her stories about Darth Vader? I don’t know. Why don’t you go ask her?”

Ren was striding across the room before the last words left his mouth.

Left to his own devices for the first time that evening, Hux first considered making a break for the door and letting Ren find his own way back to their lodgings. The drama wouldn’t be worth it, he decided. Next, he thought about getting another drink, but he was teetering on the edge of tipsiness at the moment and it would probably be best if he kept his wits about him. Later, he promised himself.

After some initial nervousness Quarren and Elen were warming up to Ren, he could tell. They could probably keep each other occupied for hours now. Melaana was nowhere to be seen, buried somewhere in the crowd. He couldn’t see anyone else he’d want to pass more than three words with. The few other friends he’d had from his year had opted to skip the reunion. Lucky bastards. 

Scanning the crowd out of boredom he saw the woman he and Ren had noticed earlier letting herself out of the hall through one of the side doors. There was something about her, something furtive in the way she moved. That, combined with the fact that he didn’t recognize her, made him decide he should find out what she was up to. 

It had nothing to do with how much he wanted an excuse to escape the room. It’s not like he wasn’t enjoying the slideshow that was projected on the wall behind the dais, with holos from their academy days. It’s not like he had the urge to hunt down and murder the person who picked out the holo of him for the show, the one where he was fifteen and skinny and sunburned. No, none of that had anything to do with him slipping out at all. That’s what he’d tell Ren, at least. If and when he even noticed Hux was gone.

He didn’t leave by the same door, or even from the same side of the room. If this woman was up to something he didn’t want to tip her off. It had the intended side effect of giving him some peace and quiet as he circled the hall.

It really had been just an excuse, he was forced to admit to himself just a minute or two later. If he’d really suspected this woman of anything he wouldn’t have experienced the shock that he did when he rounded the corner and caught her with a man that he also didn’t recognize, standing in front of a supply closet with a duffel of explosive charges on the floor between them.

There was a moment of stunned silence and then Hux found himself staring into the barrels of two blasters.

“You don’t want to do that. They might not notice blaster fire in the hall but they will notice the alarms it will trigger.” 

The two of them looked at each other and then back at him. The woman looked worried but the man wasn’t buying it.

“He’s bluffing, trying to stall us.”

Well of course he was bluffing. It was something at which he excelled. It was keeping him from being shot, too. Always a good thing, there. “It’ll be your failure, not mine, if I’m not. I’ll just end up dead. The building will lock down when it registers unsanctioned weapons fire and once they review the holocam footage they’ll discover who caused the disruption. I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when they catch you.” 

“That’s not on any of the specs.” The man was still unconvinced. 

Hux sighed, putting a little theatrics into it. “Of course it isn’t in the specs. My father made sure of that.” 

“He is Brendol Hux’s son. He’d know,” the woman pressed.

Keep stalling, he told himself. Of all the times for Ren _not_ to be poking around in his head. “What is the point of this little exercise anyways?” 

They couldn’t be tricked into exposition unfortunately. The pair exchanged a look and a decision was reached. “I’ll take care of him. Start with the charges. I’ll catch up when I’m through.” She handed over her blaster and the man picked up the bag.

Her dress was designed with combat in mind, Hux noted, with bare arms and a slit skirt that wouldn’t hinder her movements in the slightest. He’d have to thank Phasma for insisting on regular hand-to-hand combat practice when he got back. If he got back. 

“This is going to be fun,” she said, circling him. He let the overcoat fall, sighing internally at the damage that he was about to do to his clothing. The motion did allow him to palm the one thing he had on him that would serve as a weapon, though.

They went from circling each other to full contact in the blink of an eye. He’d have been gratified by the look of shock on her face as he evaded or blocked each of her attacks and responded with his own if he wasn’t so busy responding. She was good, but something distracted her for a fraction of a second and that gave Hux the opening he needed. He feinted with his left and drove Melaana’s giveaway stylus through the woman’s carotid artery. 

Turning, he was prepared to go after the man when he saw what had distracted his attacker: Melaana herself. The man was sprawled face-first in the corridor and Melaana was sitting on his back, repeatedly thumping his head into the floor. From the distance between his body and the bag of charges she’d hit him with a running tackle.

He heard bone crunch. She gave his head another bounce or three for good measure. As she rose he noticed she wasn’t even breathing hard.

“I see you’ve kept in shape.” 

She laughed. “It’s a job requirement. You wouldn’t believe the number of times people try to get out of paying. It looks like you haven’t let command soften you up either.” She cocked her head, staring down at his handiwork. “Is that …?”

“Oh, yes. Thank you for that, by the way. Quite handy.” He surveyed the scene. “We should probably return to the reunion. I doubt these two were working alone.”

He started, rolling his eyes as his coat rose up from the floor and settled across his shoulders.

“Really? How long have you watching?” he said to thin air.

_Long enough to determine that you had everything under control and I didn’t need to bother._

“Fuck you, Ren.” 

_I doubt they were working alone. Why don’t you come back and help me flush them out?_ He could hear the smile in Ren’s mental voice.

“Oh, well, if you insist.” Melaana was staring at him, eyebrows raised. “Force users.” He shrugged and picked up the duffel.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Walking through a room full of people he despised carrying a bag full of high explosives was proving to be one of the high points of the evening. Doing so while spattered with blood was a bonus. Which one of the two cleared the way in front of him as he strode through the hall, he couldn’t quite decide, but the crowd parted so he supposed it wasn’t important what was responsible.

When he reached the dais he threw the bag up on it. His pants didn’t split when he vaulted up after it, wonder of wonders. Not everyone had noticed him, a lack of situational awareness that would have put his classmates in medbay during training. The mike squealed when he turned it on, which got their attention.

“Sorry to disturb your reminiscing, but it appears we’ve been infiltrated. It seems some of you weren’t careful in vetting your dates. If you’d please secure them now, it would be greatly appreciated.”

He had no warning. The shot came out of nowhere. He needn’t have worried, although he’d have been happier to never witness Ren stopping blaster fire first-hand. Especially when the bolt was directed at his head. 

It should have been a surprise when with another gesture Ren pulled Devlin Tarkin out from the crowd, blaster in hand. There was a scuffle in the crowd and another man and woman that Hux didn’t recognize were dragged forward.

“Ah, Devlin. I see you’re as competent at conspiracy as you were in the rest of your courses.”

“At least I got those scores on my own. I didn’t have my daddy fix my grades.”

Hux sighed. He’d lived with that his entire life, the shadow of his father, the rumor that he’d only gotten as far as he had because of family ties. It had gotten old before he turned ten.

“Yes, Devlin. I used my father’s influence to discover your little plot. Don’t know how I could have done it without his help. Amazing how he managed that when he’s not even on the planet.” There was nothing Ren could have done that would have gotten him here if his father had been in the system at the time of this reunion.

“It doesn’t matter. We may have failed, but this is only the beginning!”

“Devlin, shut up!” the woman hissed.

“No, Devlin, please do continue. Save us the effort of dragging it out of you, why don’t you?”

“I’ll never talk and you know it. I went through the same training you did,” Devlin sneered.

“True. It’s a good thing I have other methods at my disposal. Ren, if you wouldn’t mind.”

He tried, Hux gave him that, but there was only so much bluster could do when a Force user was determined to plunder one’s brain. It didn’t take long before Devlin started screaming. His co-conspirators blanched as it continued, and before Ren was finished they were both babbling out details. 

As the three of them were dragged away, Hux gestured towards the crackling bolt of energy still hanging in the air. “Forget something, Ren?”

With a careless wave of his hand Ren directed the bolt towards the wall. It hit the projection screen just as it cycled through again to Hux’s old picture, shattering the transparisteel.

“Did you plan that?”

“It did seem appropriate, what with your theatrics and all.”

“Fuck you, Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. Hux will have "a moment" before it ends, I promise.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd think with accidentally uncovering a plot to blow up the Academy Hux's evening would be over, wouldn't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up being shorter than the other two chapters, and I've sat on it for a couple of days, but adding anything seemed like putting a filler episode in an anime season, so I decided to let it be. I think it hit all the high points.

After things had settled, Hux decided sobriety be damned. He didn’t allow himself to get plastered. That would have been unacceptable, undignified, even. Instead he allowed himself to reach a giddy state of inebriation. No word was slurred, no step unsteady, but everything took on an amber glow and it allowed him to deal with the now constant stream of people who wanted to talk to him. 

Every conversation started with “You probably don’t remember me.” Well, yes, he ~~unfortunately~~ certainly did. He’d address them by name and continue with some random fact he dredged up from his pickled brain. Most of his remembrances were embarrassing but no one seemed to take offense. Dammit.

“The new pool is how long it’ll be before you actually don’t remember someone,” Ren informed him in a lull. Before Hux could respond, he continued. “And Melaana and I have both bet that it won’t happen, so no throwing it to skew things.”

“You take all the fun out of life.” Hux just refrained from pouting in public. Maybe he should cut back on the whiskey just a tad. 

“Role reversal, much?” 

Ren did have a point, but he’d be damned if he’d admit it.

Someone had located another projector screen and the slideshow had resumed. Whoever was responsible had managed to pull a still from the security feed, so now instead of a gawky, sunburned teenaged Hux there was a picture of a grown-up, velvet clad Hux with blood splatter freckles. Combining that with the whiskey was the only thing making this portion of the evening marginally tolerable. 

He’d just managed to extricate himself from yet another Tarkin (the eleventh out of fourteen in their class) when Knessos approached again. He didn’t bother trying to predict what approach the man would try next. There were too many variables now and besides, there had been all that alcohol. So instead he watched as Knessos started to speak, stopped, started again, and stopped again. There was a shuffling of feet and a not-meeting of the eyes and then he did the one thing Hux wouldn’t have ever predicted. He pulled out his cigarette case out and offered one to Hux. 

Surprised, Hux accepted. A light was offered as well. At the first drag he smiled. 

“Exactly as I remembered.”

Knessos frowned. “What do you mean, as you remembered?” His cigarettes were legendary. He’d had them smuggled in from his exclusive supplier, a proprietary blend, he’d claimed. He’d allow his cronies a puff or two if he was especially pleased with them but Hux had never been one so favored. 

Taking another drag, Hux blew a perfect smoke ring up towards the ceiling. “Those occasional missing shipments of contraband materials may not all have been intercepted by the instructors.” 

At some point he’d stop having the “no, this is the best part of the evening” moments. He’d have to hack the holocam feeds himself so he could preserve the look on Knessos’ face for posterity. It was obvious he was now re-evaluating several other past incidents and inferring Hux’s probable involvement in them. He watched a series of expressions chase across Knessos’ face, settling at last on what he’d have to call bemusement.

“I always knew it wasn’t because of your father, you know. All the …” He waved, smoke trailing his hand with the gesture. “You were just that little bit better than me in almost everything.”

“Almost?” Hux couldn’t resist asking. He found a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth and reined the expression in, replacing it with a scowl as he had an unpleasant realization. They were having “a moment,” weren’t they? Why couldn’t the infiltrators just bloody well have shot him? 

Knessos had come to a similar realization. “Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head. Stay a stranger, Huxie.” He settled back into his familiar sneer and he wandered off.

His glass was empty again. How had that happened? Another one magically appeared from behind him, resting on top of a gloved hand. He took it, allowing himself to lean back into Ren’s bulk and warmth for a moment. 

“One for the road, shall we say?” He tossed it back, placed the glass upside-down on a nearby pedestal. “Now can we please finally leave?”

“Not until you drag me into a corner and ruin my makeup.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hux’s datapad chimed.

“Ah, the last of the conspirators have been accounted for. They attempted to assassinate the Supreme Leader.” He snorted. “On the wrong planet. In the wrong system even.” He shook his head. “Such incompetence.”

“Well, to be fair, things might have gone better for them if they’d managed to wipe out the largest graduating class in Academy history.”

“I don’t think even that would have helped them, dear.”

His datapad chimed again.

“And Melaana has made it home safely.”

“We’ll be seeing more of her, I hope?”

“Yes, I’m sure she’ll use the excuse of the improvements she’s suggested for the _Finalizer_ and some modifications we’re working on for our TIE fighters to visit as often as possible.”

Ren hummed happily, snuggled up against Hux’s back. 

“By the way, according to scuttlebutt, the reason she gets away with hugging you is because she’s just as scary as you.”

“Why, General! Listening to gossip? I’m shocked.”

Hux made a rude noise and Kylo laughed.

Another message alert sounded. “Well, well. Phasma just requested leave. I wonder might have prompted that?”

“Don’t sound so smug, Hux.”

“I think I have a right to be. I did set them up after all.”

“Do you think any actual sparring occurred during their sparring sessions?”

“I don’t make it a habit of speculating about my subordinates’ sex lives, Kylo.”

“Why not? They make a habit of speculating about yours.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

His datapad dinged again and Kylo grunted in annoyance. “I am going to break that damned thing if you don’t turn it off, Hux.”

There was no response. 

“Hux?” Still nothing. “Bad news?” Kylo ventured.

When Hux still didn’t say anything Ren started reading across his shoulder.

_Son_

_I heard about that little dust-up at the reunion. Good job, there. By the way, your mother says she wants to meet this Ren fellow. Are you planning on visiting soon?_

“That’s remarkably civil,” Ren said.

Hux’s mouth was moving, but no sound was coming out of it.

“Hux? Would you please say something? You’re starting to worry me.”

His voice finally started working again. “That’s the first time my father has ever told me ‘good job’ for anything. The first time ever, in my entire life.”

“Huh.” 

“And he wants me to visit. Us. He wants _us_ to visit. Kriffing hell, my mother wants to meet you. That’s … that could be bad.”

“I’m sure she’s a wonderful woman, Hux. I’d love to meet her. If only because now that I’ve seen what you look like at fifteen I’m dying to know what you looked like at five and I’m sure I can convince her to pull out the family albums.”

Hux made a show of entering a note on his datapad. “Introduce Kylo to my mother – **never**.”

Ren was still leaning over him and his breath tickled at Hux’s ear as he chuckled. Hux waited. He’d been waiting for two weeks now, wondering when Ren was going to get around to it. The suspense was irksome, to say the least, but he’d vowed he wasn’t going to give in.

“So, Hux, I was thinking.” 

_Here it comes_ , Hux thought. _Finally._

“Isn’t there something you want to say to me?”

“I can always think of things to say to you, Ren, yes.”

Ren ignored that, single-minded in his quest to annoy Hux as much as possible. “Let’s see. Reconnecting with an old friend, improvements for your beloved ship, stopping an attempted coup, winning your father’s approval. Why, exactly, did that all happen?”

Hux groaned. “If I don’t say anything I’ll never hear the end of it, will I?”

“Well, no, you’ll never hear the end of it no matter what, but I promise I’ll tease you less horribly about it if you just say a few ... special ... words.”

The last words were punctuated with kisses along Hux's neck, Ren's attempt to soften him up. He needn't have bothered, but Hux wouldn't let on.

“Oh, alright. Thank you for talking me into going to my reunion. There. Are you happy?”

“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?”

“Fuck you, Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so there it is, the ridiculous crossover that I didn't think anyone would read. Thank you all so much for the comments and love!

**Author's Note:**

> Check out the [awesome podfic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8847718) for this piece by [Carpe_History](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Carpe_History/pseuds/Carpe_History)!
> 
> Feel free to come say hi over on [tumblr](http://thewightknight.tumblr.com/).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Academy Point Blank [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8847718) by [Carpe_History](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carpe_History/pseuds/Carpe_History), [thewightknight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight)




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